Let’s be real: perimenopause is a wild, unpredictable ride. Between the “internal furnace” of hot flashes, the “where did I put my keys?” brain fog, and those 3:00 AM ceiling-staring sessions, it’s a lot to handle.  

While there are many ways to navigate this transition, I wanted to share a piece of my own journey rooted in something I grew up with: Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). Before we dive in, a quick note from the heart: I’m not a TCM doctor. My understanding of these ingredients comes from a lifetime of family tradition and years of guidance from my own trusted practitioners. Because these ingredients have real medicinal properties, it’s important not to over-consume them. They aren’t “dangerous,” but they are powerful. This isn’t a prescription; it’s just a bit of ancient wisdom from my home to yours.

Nourish, Cool, and Calm: The Core Ingredients

When perimenopause started making itself known, my doctor reminded me of a simple four-ingredient blend that has been a staple in my family for generations.

Ingredient	What it Does (The TCM View)	Perimenopause Target
Goji Berries	Nourishes Liver & Kidney Yin	Dry eyes, night sweats, and “internal heat.”
Dates (Jujubes)	Tonifies Blood & Qi	Fatigue, mood swings, and general vitality.
Lily Bulbs	Clears Heart Heat	Insomnia, restlessness, and irritability.
Poria	Calms the Spirit	Anxiety, “brain fog,” and mild bloating.

The “Heat” Secret: Red vs. Black Dates

I originally used Red Dates, but as my hot flashes intensified, my doctor suggested switching to Black Dates (Hei Zao).

• Red Dates are “warm.” If you’re already feeling like you’re overheating, they can add “fuel to the fire.”
• Black Dates are steamed and smoked, making them neutral to slightly cooling. They nourish the “Kidney Yin,” which is exactly what we need when dealing with intense night sweats.

Listening to Your Body: How to Tweak the Brew

One of the most important things I learned from my TCM doctor is that our “internal weather” changes from day to day. While the core quartet—Poria, Lily Bulbs, Goji, and Dates—is a perfect foundation, you can swap or add ingredients depending on what your body is asking for:

• If the “Internal Furnace” is extra high: Add 3–5 dried Chrysanthemum flowers. These are cooling and specifically help with that “head-bound” heat, like a red face or a tension headache.
• If you’re feeling extra bloated: Add a small piece of aged tangerine peel (Chen Pi). It helps move “stuck” energy in the stomach and makes the sweeter ingredients easier to digest.
• If the Brain Fog is thick: Swap the Lily Bulbs for dried longan fruit. Longan is amazing for memory and “nourishing the heart,” but be careful—it’s a warming fruit, so skip it if you’re currently having heavy hot flashes.
• If sleep feels impossible: Look for sour date seeds (Suan Zao Ren). These are different from the red dates we eat; they are tiny, crushed seeds that are the gold standard for quietening a racing mind at night.

Where to Shop: Why Quality Matters

This is my biggest tip: Skip the snack aisle at the local Asian grocery store. If you want the real medicinal benefit, go to an actual Chinese herb store—the kind with the wall of wooden drawers and the earthy smell of roots.

• Not All Dates Are Created Equal:  In a regular market, black dates are often just treated as a sweet snack and might be lower quality or sugary. At a dedicated herb store, they are properly processed for medicinal use.
• Poria: Look for clean, white, chalk-like cubes or slices. If they look grey or dusty, keep walking!

My “Spleen & Spirit” Tea Recipe

This is a gentle, nourishing brew.

The Measurements (Single Serving):

• 5-8g Poria (about 4–5 dried slices)
• 10g Dried Lily Bulbs (one small handful)
• 1 tbsp Goji Berries
• 3-5 Black Dates (High-quality, herb-store grade)

The Method:

1. Prep the Dates: This is crucial.  Slice the dates in half and remove the pits.  In TCM, the “heat” is concentrated in the pit. Removing it keeps the tea balanced and helps the nutrients release into the water.
2. Rinse: Give everything a quick rinse under cold water to remove any dust.
3. The Simmer: Place everything in a pot with 3 cups of water. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 20–30 minutes. Poria is a hard medicinal fungus; it needs time to release its calming properties.
4. Enjoy: Drink it warm (never ice-cold, which “shocks” your digestive system).

The lily bulbs and goji berries become soft and edible after simmering. I like to eat them at the end so none of the goodness goes to waste!

How to Keep Your “Kitchen Pharmacy” Fresh

Since you’re buying good-quality ingredients from an herb store, you want to make sure they stay potent and don’t spoil. Here is how I keep mine:

• Goji Berries: The fridge is best.  Goji berries have a high natural sugar content and can get “clumpy” or oxidize (turn dark brown) if left in a warm pantry. I keep mine in a glass jar in the fridge; they stay bright red and individual that way.
• Dates (Red or Black): Cool and dry. These can be kept in the pantry in an airtight container for a few months, but if you bought a large bag, keep them in the fridge. It prevents them from drying out into “rocks” or getting moldy in humid weather.
• Poria & Lily Bulbs: These are the most sensitive to moisture. If they get damp, they can develop mold quickly. Store them in a glass jar with a tight seal. If you live somewhere humid, throwing a small food-grade silica packet in the jar is a lifesaver.
• The “Sniff Test”: High-quality herbs should always smell earthy or slightly sweet. If your Poria or Lily Bulbs ever smell sour or “musty,” it’s time to compost them and head back to the herb store.

Listen to Your Body

I usually stick to one cup a day or every other day. If you are on blood thinners or diabetes medication, please check with your doctor first. Perimenopause is a marathon, not a sprint—treat your body with kindness and patience.

Simply Salt & Soul Tips

The Salt (The Science): This tea is more than just a warm drink; it’s a mineral-rich tonic.  Goji berries and dates are packed with potassium and magnesium, which help keep your fluids in balance and your heart healthy as hormones shift.  Poria contains natural compounds (triterpenoids) that help calm the nervous system and ease inflammation. When these ingredients are simmered together, their cellular walls break down the tough fibres, releasing antioxidants and minerals directly into the water so your body can absorb them easily.  You’re essentially “pre-digesting” these nutrients into a powerful, cellular-level boost.

The Soul (The Wellness): There is a profound, quiet medicine in the act of simmering. Taking twenty minutes to tend a pot on the stove is an ancestral nod to slow restoration. When perimenopause makes life feel frantic or out of control, this ritual reminds us that we don’t need a total overhaul to feel better. Healing happens in the small, sweet choices we make every day. This brew reminds us that the best medicine isn’t always a pill—sometimes it’s a warm mug and the patience to let things steep until they’re just right.

What are your go-to natural remedies for staying balanced? Share your thoughts in the comments!