Let’s be real: perimenopause can be a wild and unpredictable ride. Between the “internal furnace” of hot flashes, the brain fog that makes you wonder where you put your keys, and those 3:00 AM moments staring at the ceiling, it’s a lot to handle. While there are so many ways to navigate this stage, I wanted to share a piece of my own journey that’s rooted in traditions I grew up with.

Before we dive in, a quick note from the heart: I’m not a TCM doctor. My understanding of these ingredients comes from a lifetime of family tradition and years of guidance from my own trusted practitioners. Because these ingredients have real medicinal properties, it’s important not to over-consume them. They aren’t “dangerous,” but they are powerful. This isn’t a prescription; it’s just a bit of ancient wisdom from my home to yours.

Nourish, Cool, and Calm: The Core Ingredients

When perimenopause started making itself known, my doctor reminded me of a simple four-ingredient blend that has been a staple in my family for generations.

Ingredient	What it Does (The TCM View)	Perimenopause Target
Goji Berries	Nourishes Liver & Kidney Yin	Dry eyes, night sweats, and “internal heat.”
Dates (Jujubes)	Tonifies Blood & Qi	Fatigue, mood swings, and general vitality.
Lily Bulbs	Clears Heart Heat	Insomnia, restlessness, and irritability.
Poria	Calms the Spirit	Anxiety, “brain fog,” and mild bloating.

The “Heat” Secret: Red vs. Black Dates

I originally used Red Dates, but as my hot flashes intensified, my doctor suggested switching to Black Dates (Hei Zao).

• Red Dates are “warm.” If you’re already feeling like you’re overheating, they can add “fuel to the fire.”
• Black Dates are steamed and smoked, making them neutral to slightly cooling. They nourish the “Kidney Yin,” which is exactly what we need when dealing with intense night sweats.

Listening to Your Body: How to Tweak the Brew

One of the most important things I learned from my TCM doctor is that our “internal weather” changes from day to day. While the core quartet—Poria, Lily Bulbs, Goji, and Dates—is a perfect foundation, you can swap or add ingredients depending on what your body is asking for:

• If the “internal furnace” feels more active, add 3–5 dried white chrysanthemum flowers.
  Chrysanthemum is traditionally cooling in nature and is often used to support the body when there are signs of excess heat—like a red face, eye irritation, or a tension-type headache.
  It’s a gentle way to help the body release heat and ease that “head-bound” feeling, especially when things feel overstimulated. Wait—why white and not the yellow ones? Even though they look similar, they have two very different “personalities” in TCM:

White Chrysanthemum (Bai Ju Hua)

Think of the white variety as the soother. Its main job is to calm the upper body and nourish the system.

Best for: When you feel “overstimulated” or dried out.

The Feeling: If you have a tension-type headache, dry or itchy eyes, or that “head-bound” feeling where everything feels tight and dizzy, white is your go-to.

Why it works: It is more focused on clearing the liver and brightening the eyes. It’s a gentle, cooling flower that helps “smooth” out the energy.

Yellow Chrysanthemum (Huang Ju Hua)

Think of the yellow variety as the extinguisher. It is much stronger and more bitter than the white one.

Best for: When you feel like you’re actually “on fire.”

The Feeling: This is for when you have a red face, a sore throat, or a fever. It’s used when the heat is more aggressive and needs to be pushed out of the body quickly.

Why it works: It is more potent at “dispelling wind” and clearing toxic heat.

• If you’re feeling extra bloated: Add a small piece of aged tangerine peel (Chen Pi). It helps move “stuck” energy in the stomach and makes the sweeter ingredients easier to digest.
• If the Brain Fog is thick: Swap the Lily Bulbs for dried longan fruit. Longan is amazing for memory and “nourishing the heart,” but be careful—it’s a warming fruit, so skip it if you’re currently having heavy hot flashes.
• If sleep feels impossible: Look for sour date seeds (Suan Zao Ren). These are different from the red dates we eat; they are tiny, crushed seeds that are the gold standard for quietening a racing mind at night.

Where to Shop: Why Quality Matters

This is my biggest tip: Skip the snack aisle at the local Asian grocery store. If you want the real medicinal benefit, go to an actual Chinese herb store—the kind with the wall of wooden drawers and the earthy smell of roots.

• Not All Dates Are Created Equal:  In a regular market, black dates are often just treated as a sweet snack and might be lower quality or sugary. At a dedicated herb store, they are properly processed for medicinal use.
• Poria: Look for clean, white, chalk-like cubes or slices. If they look grey or dusty, keep walking!

My “Spleen & Spirit” Tea Recipe

This is a gentle, nourishing brew.

The Measurements (Single Serving):

• 5-8g Poria (about 4–5 dried slices)
• 10g Dried Lily Bulbs (one small handful)
• 1 tbsp Goji Berries
• 2-3 Black Dates (High-quality, herb-store grade)

The Method:

1. Prep the Dates: This is crucial.  Slice the dates in half and remove the pits.  In TCM, the “heat” is concentrated in the pit. Removing it keeps the tea balanced and helps the nutrients release into the water.
2. Rinse: Give everything a quick rinse under cold water to remove any dust.
3. The Simmer: Place everything in a pot with 3 cups of water. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 20–30 minutes. Poria is a hard medicinal fungus; it needs time to release its calming properties.
4. Enjoy: Drink it warm (never ice-cold, which “shocks” your digestive system).

The lily bulbs and goji berries become soft and edible after simmering. I like to eat them at the end so none of the goodness goes to waste!

How to Keep Your “Kitchen Pharmacy” Fresh

Since you’re buying good-quality ingredients from an herb store, you want to make sure they stay potent and don’t spoil. Here is how I keep mine:

• Goji Berries: The fridge is best.  Goji berries have a high natural sugar content and can get “clumpy” or oxidize (turn dark brown) if left in a warm pantry. I keep mine in a glass jar in the fridge; they stay bright red and individual that way.
• Dates (Red or Black): Cool and dry. Because black dates are so soft and jammy, the fridge is their best friend. It keeps that texture and prevents the natural sugars from crystallizing on the skin. It also stops them from fermenting if the kitchen gets a bit warm during a busy afternoon of cooking. For the red ones, these are naturally hardier and more leathery. It’s okay to keep them in the pantry where they are visible and easy to grab whenever you need to toss a few into a tea or a simmering soup to support your energy.
• Poria & Lily Bulbs: These are the most sensitive to moisture. If they get damp, they can develop mold quickly. Store them in a glass jar with a tight seal. If you live somewhere humid, throwing a small food-grade silica packet in the jar is a lifesaver.
• The “Sniff Test”: High-quality herbs should always smell earthy or slightly sweet. If your Poria or Lily Bulbs ever smell sour or “musty,” it’s time to compost them and head back to the herb store.

Listen to Your Body

I usually stick to one cup a day or every other day. If you are on blood thinners or diabetes medication, please check with your doctor first. Perimenopause is a marathon, not a sprint—treat your body with kindness and patience.

Simply Salt & Soul

The Salt (The Science): This tea is more than just a warm drink; it’s a mineral-rich tonic.  Goji berries and dates are packed with potassium and magnesium, which help keep your fluids in balance and your heart healthy as hormones shift.  Poria contains natural compounds (triterpenoids) that help calm the nervous system and ease inflammation. When these ingredients are gently simmered together, the heat helps release some of their plant compounds into the water, making them easier for the body to access and absorb.

The Soul (The Wellness): I’ve come to see a very practical kind of nourishment in the act of simmering. Taking a few minutes to tend to a pot on the stove is a forced pause in the day—a simple reminder to slow down. When life feels loud or a bit overwhelming, especially during transitions like perimenopause, these small rituals are grounding. They remind me that I don’t need to overhaul my entire life to feel better. Often, healing is just found in the small, consistent choices we make every day.

What are your go-to natural remedies for staying balanced? Share your thoughts in the comments!