Ask ten people what wellness means, and you get ten different answers. One person talks about green juice, another swears by 5 a.m. workouts, and someone else is buying whatever expensive powder they saw online this week.

Between nutrition advice, hormone changes, and all the talk about getting older, the word gets thrown around so much that I sometimes wonder what it even means anymore.

I don’t think wellness is something you figure out once and then you’re done. We sometimes expect that if we eat well, get eight hours of sleep, and drink enough water, we’ll eventually feel great all the time. But life isn’t that simple. What worked when you were 28 might not work the same way at 48, especially when perimenopause comes along and your hormones start changing. What you need can change as you get older, and you might have to figure things out again along the way.

Food matters, of course. That’s my background, after all. But you can eat well all day long, and if you’re only sleeping four hours a night and constantly stressed, you’re probably still going to feel run down.

This is something I keep coming back to in holistic nutrition and Traditional Chinese Medicine. You have to consider what’s going on in someone’s life, not just the symptom they’re dealing with. If someone is exhausted, can’t fall asleep at night, and is having digestive issues, I’d want to understand what’s happening with all three. Are they under a lot of stress? How have they been sleeping? Are they eating enough? Has their routine changed lately? These things can be connected, and sometimes looking at one issue on its own doesn’t tell you much.

Real health comes down to a few basic things:

• How you eat, move, sleep, and digest your food.
• How much stress you carry and how you talk to yourself.
• The people around you and whether they wear you out or support you.
• Your environment, from your home to how much time you spend inside.
• Having something meaningful to do with your days.

You don’t need to buy another product to look after yourself. What works for me might not work for you, either. I work with women who feel great eating mostly plant-based, while others do better with animal protein and warm, cooked meals to keep their energy up. I’m in the second group. It’s the same with exercise. Some people love going for a hard run, while others would rather take a twenty-minute walk and do some weight training a couple of times a week. We’re all different, and I think we sometimes forget that when we’re constantly seeing what everyone else is doing online.

Whatever you do has to fit into your actual life. If a routine only works when you have no stress, no kids to worry about, and hours of free time, how realistic is it? A lot of looking after yourself comes down to everyday things. Getting to bed at a reasonable time, drinking some water before your coffee, eating a proper lunch instead of realizing at 3 p.m. that you’ve barely eaten, and saying no when you’ve already got too much on your plate.

You also need to enjoy your life. Have the birthday cake, order takeout when you’re too tired to cook, and take your time on a lazy weekend morning. If keeping up with your wellness routine starts feeling like another thing to stress about, or you’re worrying about every little thing you eat, maybe it’s time to rethink the routine.

To me, wellness is about looking after yourself so you have the energy to enjoy your life. You want to feel good enough to do the things you need to do and the things you actually want to do. If you’ve been meaning to make a change, start with something you’ve been struggling with lately. Maybe you’ve been skipping breakfast and drinking coffee until lunchtime, or staying up too late and feeling it the next day. Start there and see if things feel any different when you make a change.