Simply Salt and Soul

No one really prepares you for this part.

Not just the hot flashes.
Not just the skipped periods.
Not just the “maybe this is menopause?” guessing game.

I mean the part where your body suddenly feels more reactive.

You’re more easily overwhelmed, your patience is shorter, little things feel bigger, sleep gets weird, you feel tired, but not always calm and sometimes it can feel like your body is running a stress response before your mind has even caught up.

If that’s you, you’re not imagining it.

And honestly, this is something I hear all the time — women saying, “I just don’t feel like I handle things the same way anymore.”

For many women, perimenopause and menopause are not just a hormone story. They’re also a nervous system story.

What’s Actually Changing

Your nervous system is constantly helping your body respond to the world around you.

Very simply, you can think of it as having two broad gears: one that helps you mobilize and respond to stress, and one that helps you rest, digest, and settle back down.

And what I often see (and what many women describe) is that during this phase, that shift between the two doesn’t feel as smooth anymore.

It can feel like:

your system turns “on” faster
stays there longer
and takes more effort to come back down

That is where perimenopause can come in.

Why You May Feel More Anxious or Overstimulated

A lot of women describe this season as feeling “wired,” “on edge,” “less resilient,” or like their nervous system is suddenly much louder than it used to be.

And when I hear that, my first thought is always: that actually makes a lot of sense.

Mood changes, anxiety, irritability, and sleep problems are all recognized parts of the menopause transition. Perimenopause is also associated with a higher risk of depressive symptoms compared with premenopause, and experts note that hormone changes, poor sleep, hot flashes, and life stress can all layer together.

And this is where women often get frustrated. They don’t feel like themselves anymore and they start to wonder if something is wrong with them.

The Sleep-Stress Spiral is Real

One of the biggest reasons the nervous system feels so off in perimenopause is sleep.

And this is something I see over and over again — women who are doing everything “right,” but they’re waking up in the night, or not feeling rested, or stuck in that tired-but-wired feeling.

When sleep gets disrupted, everything feels louder: emotions, stress, cravings, tension, patience, even how hot flashes feel. And unfortunately, sleep disturbance is very common during the menopause transition. Reviews have found sleep problems are more common in perimenopausal and postmenopausal women than in perimenopausal women, and hot flashes/night sweats can make that worse.

So it’s not just “you’re more emotional.” It’s that your body is trying to function without the same recovery it used to have.

Sleep disruption is very common during perimenopause, and it can make everything feel more intense—emotions, stress, cravings, and even temperature shifts.

Aim for a consistent bedtime and wake time to help support your body’s natural rhythm
Create a cool, comfortable sleep environment with breathable layers to adjust easily during the night
Be mindful of caffeine, alcohol, and heavy meals in the evening, as they can affect sleep quality
A small, balanced snack before bed (like fruit with protein or healthy fats) may help support more stable overnight energy
Build in a short wind-down routine—dim lighting, stretching, journaling, or quiet time—to help your body transition into restIf you wake during the night or feel “tired but wired,” try to remove the pressure to fall back asleep and focus on resting instead
Over time, these small, supportive shifts can help your body feel more settled, even if sleep looks a little different than it used to

“Why Can’t I Handle What I Used To?”

This is one of the most common emotional experiences of perimenopause.

You might still be doing all the same things: working, caregiving, planning, remembering, carrying the mental load, getting dinner on the table, keeping everybody else afloat.

And this is where I always want women to pause for a second.

Because this does not mean you are weak.
It does not mean you are failing.
And it does not mean it’s all in your head.

It may simply mean your body is responding differently — and asking for a different kind of support. The combination of hormone fluctuation, sleep disruption, hot flashes, and cumulative life stress may be hitting a more sensitive system.

Lighten the mental load where possible – write things down, delegate small tasks, or simplify routines so everything isn’t being held in your head
Build in small pauses during the day – even 5–10 minutes to sit, breathe, or step outside can help regulate your system
Support your nervous system daily – gentle movement like walking, stretching, or yoga can help release built-up tension
Prioritize rest (not just sleep) – quiet time, lower stimulation, or early evenings can help your body feel more supported
Set softer expectations – allow “good enough” to be enough during this phase instead of pushing for perfection
Create boundaries where needed – protect your energy by saying no or spacing things out when your capacity feels lower
Stay nourished regularly – balanced meals throughout the day can help support steady energy and mood
Talk it out – sharing what you’re feeling with someone you trust can reduce the emotional weight you’re carrying
Ground yourself in the moment – simple practices like slow breathing or noticing your surroundings can help when emotions feel heightened
Remind yourself this is a transition – your body isn’t failing, it’s adjusting, and it may just need a different kind of support right now

What This Can Look Like in Real Life

This is where women really start to feel seen.

You wake up already tense.

You feel shaky, sweaty, or suddenly hot in a meeting and then feel anxious because your body is reacting in public.

You are exhausted by 3 p.m. but somehow too wired to truly rest at night.

You have less tolerance for noise, clutter, interruptions, or being touched out.

You feel like your heart races faster than it used to when you are stressed.

You find yourself saying, “This never used to bother me this much.”

That cluster makes sense. Hot flashes can come with sweating, chills, anxiety, and a rapid heartbeat, and experts also note that anxiety and hot flashes can amplify each other for some women.

So What Actually Helps?

This is where I always bring it back to simplicity.

Not a long list.
Not a perfect routine.
Not “fixing” yourself.

But supporting your body in ways that feel realistic.

The most helpful starting points tend to be the unglamorous ones: more stable sleep rhythms, less all-day stress accumulation, regular meals, less over-caffeinating an already stressed body, more time outside, and more intentional downshifting in the evening. Lifestyle measures are commonly recommended in menopause guidance, and cognitive behavioural therapy has also been recommended in UK guidance to help with low mood or anxiety arising from menopause and to support coping with symptoms.

That does not mean these changes “fix everything.” It means they help create conditions where the body feels less pushed and more supported.

And for some women, symptoms are disruptive enough that it is worth speaking with a qualified healthcare professional about options, including hormone therapy or nonhormonal treatments, especially when sleep, mood, or hot flashes are really affecting quality of life. Major guidance recognizes hormone therapy as the most effective treatment for bothersome vasomotor symptoms, with other options available depending on the person and their health history.

The Shift That Changes Everything

The nervous system piece matters because it changes the story.

Instead of thinking, “Why am I so emotional?”
it becomes, “Maybe my system is under more strain than I realized.”

Instead of, “Why can’t I cope?”
it becomes, “Maybe my body needs a different kind of support right now.”

And that shift matters more than people realize.

Because so many women in this phase are incredibly hard on themselves…when what they actually need is a little more understanding of what their body is going through.

The Salt (The Science): Perimenopause and menopause can affect more than periods and temperature. Fluctuating and declining estrogen levels are linked with changes in autonomic function, sleep, mood, and stress sensitivity. Hot flashes and night sweats can also feed into poor sleep and anxiety, which may leave the body feeling more activated and less resilient.

The Soul (The Wellness): Maybe this season isn’t asking you to push harder.

Maybe it’s asking you to notice what your body can no longer keep holding so quietly.

To create more steadiness.
More rest.
More nourishment.
More space to come down.

Not because you’re fragile…but because your body is asking to be supported differently now.

If you’re moving through hormonal changes and feeling unsure where to start, this is exactly the kind of support I offer. As a menopause coach, I help women reconnect with their bodies through simple nourishment, daily rhythm, and realistic habits — without pressure or perfection.

Sources & References

The North American Menopause Society (NAMS)
NHS (UK National Health Service) — Menopause guidance
Cleveland Clinic — Menopause & mood changes
PubMed — Research on menopause, sleep, and nervous system changes