I used to think eating healthy meant following a long list of strict rules. No carbs after 6 pm. Drink this before that. No more than 1200 calories. Count every gram. No dessert unless it was made with dates and almond flour. I tried almost everything. Some of it worked, for a little while. But mostly it left me feeling stressed, guilty, and like I was failing at something as basic as feeding myself.

For most of my twenties, I was stuck in that cycle. Then life changed, two energetic boys, plus running a home baking business. Trying to juggle all of that while following a long list of food rules wasn’t realistic. If anything, it made me more anxious than anything else.

When My Body Started Pushing Back

Then my health started quietly declining. My experience with trigeminal neuralgia, those sudden, intense jolts of facial pain that appear without warning, became harder to ignore. At first, I didn’t connect the flare-ups to my lifestyle at all. I assumed it was pregnancy, or just the physical toll of motherhood.

But the episodes became more frequent, my energy kept dropping, and I knew something had to shift. I needed to look at the full picture, what I was eating, how I was living, and the daily habits I wasn’t really paying attention to.

I always knew food mattered. We hear that growing up. But I didn’t fully understand how much my relationship with food was influencing everything else until I started paying closer attention. What I began to notice was how chronic patterns of inflammation can be influenced by many factors, including diet. Highly processed foods and excess sugar are often part of that picture, while whole, minimally processed foods tend to offer more support for the body’s natural balance.

It sounds simple, but it genuinely changed how I approached everything.

Ditching the Rules

Eventually I stopped asking “am I allowed to eat this” and started asking “how do I actually feel after eating this.” What gives me energy, what makes me feel heavy, what I genuinely enjoy.

I also stopped eating on autopilot. Slowing down, actually tasting food, noticing when I was full, it made a real difference, not just for digestion but for how much mental energy I was spending on food guilt every single day.

Alongside all of this, I’ve spent years learning about TCM, which helped me connect a lot of dots. TCM looks at food in a very practical way, how it affects the body, but also how it can influence mood and overall balance. Combining that with what I was learning about nutrition gave me a much more complete picture of how to support my health, instead of just following someone else’s rules.

Where I’m At Now

These days, it’s pretty simple. I eat what makes me feel good, I don’t stress about the rest, and I’ve let go of the guilt most of the time. Living with TN has meant learning what works for my body specifically, and that’s taken time. But I’m in a much better place than when I was obsessing over every meal. Real food, actual rest, and being a lot less hard on myself. That’s what it really comes down to.

If you’re still drowning in food rules or just exhausted by all of it, I get it. It’s a lot. Healing isn’t a straight line, and there’s no perfect way to eat. Start by noticing how you actually feel. Stop overthinking every bite. And if the dessert is made with real flour and tastes way better for it, just eat it and enjoy it.

Simply Salt & Soul

The Salt (The Science): When you’re stressed about food rules, your body can stay in a fight or flight state. That matters, because digestion doesn’t work as well when the body is under stress, and inflammatory signals tend to be higher. Something as simple as slowing down and taking a breath before a meal can help shift the body into a more relaxed state, which supports digestion and nutrient absorption. Less rules, more ease. It’s worth paying attention to.

The Soul (The Wellness): If you’ve spent years thinking about food as good or bad, that’s a hard habit to shake. What helped me was just loosening my grip on the whole thing. Some meals are there to support your body. Some are there for the memory, the connection, the enjoyment. Both matter. But giving yourself permission to eat something just because it brings you joy, without the guilt spiral after, is honestly one of the better things you can do for yourself. You shouldn’t feel bad about it, you’re just eating like a normal person.