My Experience with Postpartum Depression—and What I Wish More People Knew

Motherhood often gets portrayed as tender and luminous—the tiny fingers, the rush of love you’re supposed to feel. And sometimes, that is part of it. But there’s another version we don’t talk about enough: the quiet heaviness, the fog, the sense of losing yourself in the process.

Postpartum depression was part of my story. And later on, depression showed up again in different ways throughout my life. This isn’t the easiest thing for me to talk about, but it feels like one of those things that needs to be talked about—because when you’re in it, it can feel incredibly isolating.

What It Actually Felt Like

IIt wasn’t just sadness.

For me, it looked like going through the motions of the day but not really feeling in it. I could be holding my baby, doing all the things I was supposed to do, and still feel this strange disconnection—like I was there, but not fully there.

There was a constant heaviness that didn’t really lift, even on “good” days. I remember feeling exhausted in a way that sleep didn’t fix. Even when I had the chance to rest, I’d wake up and still feel drained. Simple things—responding to a message, making a meal, getting out the door—felt harder than they should have.

On top of that, I was also dealing with ongoing nerve pain at the time. And I don’t think I realized just how much that added to everything. When your body is already in pain, it takes a toll—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. It made everything feel heavier, more overwhelming, and harder to move through.

And the brain fog… that was real. Forgetting things, losing my train of thought, feeling mentally slow—it made me question myself a lot.

I wanted to feel present. I wanted to enjoy those moments. But I just couldn’t fully get there.

And from the outside? It didn’t always look like anything was wrong.

Postpartum Depression Is Real (and Common)

After having a baby, your body goes through a huge shift—physically, emotionally, and hormonally.

Hormones that were high during pregnancy drop quickly after birth. Add in broken sleep, physical recovery, learning how to care for a newborn, and the mental load that comes with it… it’s a lot for any system to handle.

For some women, that combination can contribute to a deeper emotional low that doesn’t just pass after a few days or weeks.

And I think this part is really important to say—it’s not a reflection of how much you love your baby, and it’s not a reflection of what kind of mother you are.

What to Watch For (In Yourself or Someone You Love)

Sometimes it’s obvious, but a lot of the time it’s not. It can build slowly, or show up in ways you don’t expect.

It might look like feeling low, numb, or overwhelmed most days. Or losing interest in things you normally enjoy. For some, it shows up as irritability—snapping more easily, feeling on edge, or emotionally reactive in ways that don’t feel like you.

Sleep can feel off too—either not being able to sleep even when you have the chance, or wanting to sleep all the time but still feeling tired. Appetite can change. And there can be this underlying sense of disconnection—from yourself, your baby, or the people around you.

Sometimes it’s also just a feeling of “something’s not right,” even if you can’t fully explain it.

For partners or loved ones, it might look like withdrawal, increased sensitivity, frustration, or just a noticeable shift in energy. It’s not always loud—but it’s often felt.

When to Reach Out

If something feels off for more than a couple of weeks… if the heaviness isn’t lifting… if you feel like you’re just trying to get through the day rather than living it…

That’s worth paying attention to.

Reaching out doesn’t mean something is “serious enough.” It just means you’re listening to your body and your mind.

Support can look different for everyone. It might be talking to your doctor, connecting with a therapist, or simply opening up to someone you trust and saying, “I’m not feeling like myself lately.”

You don’t have to wait until you’re at your lowest point to ask for support.

Supporting the Body and Mind

One thing I’ve come to understand—both personally and through my work—is that when your body is depleted, it’s so much harder to feel steady emotionally. And for me, that was even more true because I was also dealing with ongoing nerve pain at the time. When your body is in constant discomfort, it takes energy just to get through the day. That physical strain doesn’t stay separate—it spills into your mental and emotional space too, making everything feel heavier and harder to manage.

Nutrition isn’t the whole answer, but it can play a really supportive role. Even small things can help—like eating regularly throughout the day, even if it’s something simple like toast with eggs or a quick bowl of oatmeal. Including protein and healthy fats can help keep your energy more stable, instead of those constant ups and downs.

Foods like salmon, walnuts, or flax can support brain function, and iron-rich foods can be especially important postpartum when your body is recovering. And honestly, just staying hydrated—keeping a water bottle nearby and taking small sips—can make more of a difference than we think.

But there’s also a deeper layer to this.

Depression can feel like a disconnection—from your body, your emotions, and your sense of self. And in those moments, the goal isn’t to fix everything all at once.

It’s to gently reconnect.

That might look like stepping outside for five minutes just to get some fresh air, sitting with a warm drink before the house wakes up, or simply allowing yourself to feel what’s there instead of pushing it down. Sometimes it’s asking for help—even when that feels uncomfortable.

These things might seem small, but they matter more than we give them credit for.

Small moments matter.

Simply Salt and Soul

The Salt (The Science): When you’re feeling low, it’s not just emotional—your body is often depleted too. Hormonal shifts, lack of sleep, and inconsistent eating can leave your system feeling unsteady. Supporting your body can be simple and gentle: eating regularly, even if meals are basic, including protein and healthy fats to help with steady energy, and adding foods like salmon, walnuts, or flax for their omega-3 content to support brain function. Iron-rich foods can also help support energy, especially in the postpartum period. It’s not about doing everything perfectly—it’s about giving your body consistent support where you can.

The Soul (The Wellness): Depression can feel like a disconnection—from yourself, your emotions, and even the world around you. In those moments, the goal isn’t to force yourself to feel better, but to slowly reconnect. That might look like stepping outside for a few minutes of fresh air, sitting quietly with a warm drink, or allowing yourself to feel what’s there without judgment. Reaching out to someone you trust, even in a small way, can also help you feel a little less alone. There’s no need to rush the process—sometimes the gentlest moments are where the shift begins.