Simply Salt and Soul

No one really prepares you for this part.

Not just the hot flashes.
Not just the skipped periods.
Not just the ‘is this hormonal?’ guessing game.

You reach a point where everything just rubs you raw. Your patience drops to zero, little things get under your skin, and you feel constantly overstimulated. You’re bone-tired, but you can’t seem to wind down, almost like your body is carrying tension and running a marathon while your mind is just trying to get through the day.

If that hits close to home, it’s not just in your head. So many women tell me the exact same thing: they don’t feel like themselves, their reactions feel out of their own control, and their tolerance has completely bottomed out. The truth is, perimenopause isn’t just an ovarian thing, it directly messes with your nervous system. When your hormones bounce around, your fight-or-flight switch gets hair-trigger sensitive.

What’s Actually Changing

Our nervous system is running 24/7 in the background, keeping us steady through the day. It really comes down to two modes our bodies toggle between: the gas pedal for stress, and the brake for resting, digesting, and resetting. When everything is working the way it should, our bodies slip between those two states completely naturally.

But what I hear from so many women during perimenopause is that …

your system turning “on” faster
stays there longer
and takes more effort to come back down

That is where perimenopause can come in.

Why You May Feel More Anxious or Overstimulated

So many women describe this phase in similar ways, feeling more on edge, more sensitive, and less able to bounce back from things that used to feel manageable. When you understand what the body is actually navigating during this time, it makes a lot of sense.

When you stack hormone drops on top of broken sleep, night sweats, and regular life chaos, our bodies end up redlining. We’re running on a completely different set of rules than we were five or ten years ago. It leaves our nervous system totally jumpy, like the volume on everything got turned way up, and after a while, that constant strain just wears us out.

The Sleep–Stress Loop

Sleep has been the biggest eye-opener for me. You can check all the boxes, no caffeine, cool room, good routine, and still find yourself wide awake in the middle of the night, stuck in that frustrating tired-but-wired loop. And when our sleep gets wrecked, it knocks down every other domino. We have zero margin for stress, cravings spike, our moods swing harder, and hot flashes feel so much worse simply because our bodies never had the chance to reset.

It really feels like my body is working harder than it used to, without the same chance to fully reset overnight.

Aim for a consistent bedtime and wake time to help support your body’s natural rhythm
Create a cool, comfortable sleep environment with breathable layers to adjust easily during the night
Be mindful of caffeine, alcohol, and heavy meals in the evening, as they can affect sleep quality
A small, balanced snack before bed (like fruit with protein or healthy fats) may help support more stable overnight energy
Try keeping a simple wind-down routine at night. Maybe dim the lights, do a bit of stretching, journal, or just sit quietly for a few minutes so your body can start to slow down. If you wake up in the middle of the night or get that “tired but wired” feeling, try not to stress about falling back asleep right away. Just focus on resting cause even that helps.

“Why Can’t I Handle What I Used To?”

This comes up in almost every conversation I have. From the outside, we’re still managing the day-to-day, taking care of everyone else, and holding everything together. But internally, the whole experience has changed, and things just don’t feel the same anymore.

But this is where I always want women to pause for a second.

Because this does not mean you are weak.
It does not mean you are failing.
And it does not mean it’s all in your head.

The truth is, our bodies are just reacting to a whole new reality, and what used to work isn’t cutting it. When you add up the hormone changes, the wrecked sleep, and everyday life, it’s only natural that we feel more reactive. Our bodies aren’t acting out, they’re just dealing with a lot more friction right now.

Lighten the mental load where possible – write things down, delegate small tasks, or simplify routines so everything isn’t being held in your head
Build in small pauses during the day – even 5–10 minutes to sit, breathe, or step outside can help regulate your system
Support your nervous system daily – gentle movement like walking, stretching, or yoga can help release built-up tension
Prioritize rest (not just sleep) – quiet time, lower stimulation, or early evenings can help your body feel more supported
Set softer expectations – allow “good enough” to be enough during this phase instead of pushing for perfection
Create boundaries where needed – protect your energy by saying no or spacing things out when your capacity feels lower
Stay nourished regularly – balanced meals throughout the day can help support steady energy and mood
Talk it out – sharing what you’re feeling with someone you trust can reduce the emotional weight you’re carrying
Ground yourself in the moment – simple practices like slow breathing or noticing your surroundings can help when emotions feel heightened
Remind yourself this is a transition – your body isn’t failing, it’s adjusting, and it may just need a different kind of support right now

What This Can Look Like in Real Life

We’re waking up on edge before the alarm even goes off. Our physical triggers have a hair trigger now, random hot flashes, our heart racing while we’re standing in the kitchen, feeling instantly keyed up. By 3 PM we’re dragging, but when we finally get the chance to rest, our bodies won’t cooperate. We have zero margin for chaos or interruptions, and we’re left asking ourselves why the smallest, dumbest things are pushing our buttons so hard.

These things rarely happen in isolation; they just feed off each other. The rough sleep messes with our mood. That mood changes how we take hits from daily stress. The stress shows up physically in our bodies, and around and around we go. Everything is linked, so when we try to treat just one single piece of the puzzle, it makes sense that we still end up feeling stuck.

So What Actually Helps?

This is where I always bring it back to simplicity.

Not a long list.
Not a perfect routine.
Not “fixing” yourself.

But supporting your body in ways that feel realistic.

For many people, the most helpful place to start is with the basics like steady meals, consistent sleep patterns, small breaks during the day, and reducing anything that feels like added strain when your system is already a bit sensitive. Getting outside, even briefly, and allowing yourself time to wind down in the evening can also support that shift. These aren’t dramatic changes, but they can help take some of the pressure off your system.

For some women, symptoms may feel strong enough that it’s worth exploring additional support with a healthcare provider. There are different options available, and sometimes just knowing that can feel reassuring.

Understanding the nervous system side of this can change the way you relate to it. Instead of thinking, “Why am I so emotional?” think of, “Maybe my system is under more strain right now.” Instead of, “Why can’t I cope?” it can become, “Maybe my body just needs a different kind of support.”

That change matters, because it moves you out of self-criticism and into something more supportive.

The Salt (The Science): Here’s what’s actually happening underneath all of it. Estrogen doesn’t just affect your cycle, it also plays a role in things like mood, sleep, and how your body handles stress. So when estrogen starts fluctuating in perimenopause, it’s not just your hormones that feel it. Your whole nervous system does too.

On top of that, progesterone, which has a naturally calming effect on the nervous system, also drops during this phase. So you’re losing two of the hormones that were quietly helping you stay regulated, often at the same time. Then disrupted sleep adds another layer. When rest isn’t solid, cortisol, your main stress hormone, tends to stay higher, and higher cortisol can make the nervous system more reactive. It becomes a cycle that reinforces itself. Poor sleep makes everything feel harder, and feeling overwhelmed makes it harder to sleep.

This is why so many women say they don’t handle things the same way anymore. It isn’t a personality change. It’s physiology. And understanding that makes it easier to move away from self-blame and toward actual support for your body.

The Soul (The Wellness): Nobody really prepares you for this part, especially the emotional side of it. The part where you feel like you’ve become less resilient overnight, more reactive, more easily overwhelmed, quicker to tear up, snap, or just feel done. And because it isn’t talked about often, a lot of women end up quietly assuming something is wrong with them.

Just remember, nothing is wrong with you.

This phase has a way of stripping back what isn’t working anymore. As uncomfortable as that can feel, there’s something worth paying attention to in it. Your body is asking you to slow down and take better care of yourself. It’s not a luxury, it’s a necessity.

If you’re moving through hormonal changes and feeling unsure where to start, this is exactly the kind of support I offer. As a menopause coach, I help women reconnect with their bodies through simple nourishment, daily rhythm, and realistic habits — without pressure or perfection.

Sources & References

The North American Menopause Society (NAMS)
NHS (UK National Health Service) — Menopause guidance
Cleveland Clinic — Menopause & mood changes
PubMed — Research on menopause, sleep, and nervous system changes